Advice from an Albatross

With all the job possiblities recently B and I decided that it would be best to go into the red a bit and get her driver’s license. See she owed $100 to Alaska in order to reinstate her license. Because of this all the money and effort put into it previously had left us disappointed. But that meant everything was paid for, her tests all taken and once we paid AK she’d be good to just go pick it up.

So she talks with AK DMV, they inform her it will take 24-48 hours, so she gathers the info needed and I fax it to them yesterday. She calls later that day to check up. It is then that she is informed it will take 3-5 business days. At that point, like most people would do, she gets rude. It didn’t matter that it took a while, it was the fact it wasn’t disclosed at the beginning. After hanging up though, B starts to feel bad. So she calls back and aplogizes.

I checked the bank today and the charge went through. During lunch we went over to the DMV and now I don’t think I’ll ever drive my car again. Which I don’t mind actually, I don’t particularly enjoy driving, and I’ll be able to get some sleep during the longer drives.

So what is the point of my story? Other than the obvious Moral of “Do Unto Others”… which put even simpler is “Be nice to people.” Well I started thinking about PDLs and how they have no morals. It also makes me think of “killing with kindness.” So when you are having collection calls and are being harrassed you can disturb them the greatest by being as kind as possible. Be sweet even, it will bother those who do not practice the simple art of treating others like you’d like to be treated….

In my previous post about budgets I left out something very important. Pay yourself first!

Okay that is a line they use for those self-employed. But what I mean by it is don’t neglect yourself. In my ‘living paycheck to paycheck’ budget I always forget to put in food. I just assume I’ll live off of whatever is left. But I always overspend that because I’m neglecting how much I do spend on it. And then I end up going back to my spreadsheet and moving things around again because I didn’t have enough left over. It is tough when it comes to budgeting for meals. Even more tough when the person you live with has a restrictive diet, that tends to restrict itself to the more expensive foods. Diabetes is expensive in more than just the medicine for it….

So I thought I’d just add that little nugget. If you can cut back on how much you spend on groceries than good for you. Use coupons, buy storebrand, whatever… There are lots of ways to do it. But don’t neglect that important ‘bill’ when using my budget system….

I like comments. I like people to drop by and say ‘hey what’s up’, ‘I enjoyed that diatribe’ or ‘Thanks, I might actually use that’. But what do people usually get. Spam. They are smarter than they used to be but it is spam all the same. They leave a general comment and input their spamming url to be clicked on by unsuspecting people.

But like I said, I like comments. So this is your warning. If you are spamming, I’m going to keep your comment, but your url is gone. My comments are moderated so I’m not even giving you a single second where someone could come and click on it. If you have a legitimate blog or website then please leave your comments I’d love to hear from you.

Thanks….

I always try to do good things in life. I’m a big fan of “do unto others”, and “you get what you give”, and all those.

During my lunch break today, while taking in B to turn in an application at the same place as my second job, and then on our way to get a permit to cut firewood, we saw someone on the corner with a sign. The person appeared to be female and ’she’ had three dogs. I was forced to turn around in an effort to get a better look at the sign. We pulled up. It was a girl, and her sign said “low on funds, need fuel.” We asked her about it, and she pointed to her big yellow bus. So we told them we’d meet them at the truck stop.

Now since I’ve met B, we’ve picked up a few people and given rides (most of them kids), bought and given food to a few people, and parted with some change for fuel. And we can’t forget the time I had turn around and then pull over on a busy interstate ramp, to pick up a wallet which B found a business card and we called him up and gave it back. Why do we do it? Karma…. Ultimately it is selfish, I know, but we do good in hopes of getting some good back. You never know when you’ll be stranded without fuel, or homeless without food, or living in a situation that you need to get far away from, or have your wallet fall off your car because you had set it there…. And when those things happen all you can hope for is someone nice to come along and help.

So when it comes to money, especially when a lot of us are in a tight spot right now, sharing what little you have can make you feel good. I’ve been blessed recently with numerous helpings of assistance. Monetarily from DCC points, to a wonderful organization called Modest Needs, and Prosper Loans. As well as advice and mental support from DCC and various blogs (check out the blogroll). All of these things have helped me through my time of need, and I do what I can to give back. So when I have the funds I will donate what I can, loan to people in my similar situation and until then I provide advice on the forum, and keep updating on this blog.

And I wanted to thank all of you who have and will help me and other along the way.

Everyone knows how the power of positive thinking works. By thinking positively you are actively, even if subconsciously, doing positive things to improve your situation. Or that is how it is supposed to work.

Or maybe I’m just doing it wrong.

All of the “I think I can”s and “It will all work out”s have recently been replaced with “I don’t think I can do this anymore.” But then again, I haven’t always been positive. I’m more cyclic, as I’m sure many of you are. I have highs, where things are going well and I’m getting stuff done, and lows, where something comes out of no where and knocks me down a couple of pegs.

I’m currently riding the low.

But this current situation got me thinking. Was I being too optimistic? All the plans that we made when B would start her job, paying off the bills, being caught up, having money to put into savings, saving to buy a house, etc… Now we are to the point though that something needs to be done and done now. No more waiting. It is time to get realistic.

Now I’m not saying to forget thinking positive. There is validity in it. But we need to be real. Bad stuff happens, and it seems to happen all the time to us. That is a realization and not pessimism. Being realistic keeps you open to these truths in this life. Being optimistic only leads to heartbreak when they do happen. And I’m not talking about things in life that you can control. I’m talking about those you can’t.

But it is always more complicated then that. Here is my situation as an example.

B got a job but had to wait 2 months for it to start. What was out of our control is that it is delayed another 2 months. Nothing we can do about it. Our optimism kept us waiting those first two instead of B looking for a temporary one to fill the gap. She didn’t want to get a job just to leave it. I could have taken a second job as well. She didn’t want me to because the job she was waiting for would have her gone for an extended period so spending as much time together while we had it was more important. Now that we are realistic, we realize what needs to be done to get us back in control.

So I guess my point is there are things in life you can’t control. Being optimistic all the time means neglecting that and getting hurt. So be realistic on the positive side. Understand that there are things in life you can change. It is hard work but you can do it. You can’t expect it to go smoothly, but you can do things to make the ride just a little less bumpy.